LeahII-00792

The power of self-awareness

Learning to be more Zen ✌🏼

I wanted to share a moment of my own self discovery. For years I’ve been your typical train hard, clean eating, meals every 2-3 hours, no processed foods and all the rest that comes with this typical stereotype. I had to make sure each week I completed my 5 weights days, 3-5 HIT Cardio & my 6 meals a day or I couldn’t relax. If I didn’t I would wake up extra early to make up for that cardio session I missed or frantically fit it in between my working day, if i ate something not so healthy I would then compensate this at my next meal. I would be anxious, stressed and even worse feeling guilty if I hadn’t completed my planned work out. Subconsciously I had created this rigid routine starting from my 4.30am Alarm to the time my head hit the pillow at night. I couldn’t relax until my meals for the next day were prepped, the dishes were done, my gym bag packed, ready for tomorrow & it all had to done so that I was in bed by 8.30pm to get my 8 hours. If this didn’t happen I would became anxious, I’d feel like I wasn’t in control & I’d start to become stressed, frustrated even. Who was this person? I had been doing this for years & hadn’t recognised the constant state of stress i was putting my body through mentally & physically. I would suffer from ongoing digestive issues, broken sleep, anxiety & I was running on a constant state of E. All that being said I’d set my alarm for 5am & do it all again the next day. This had become my new normal & it had come at the sacrifice of my own wellbeing.

After going through my own weight loss journey & living in todays society I felt a whole lot of pressure to be a certain way & look a certain way. I had subconsciously become a victim to these expectations I felt everyone else had put on me but the reality was it was the expectations I had put on myself. The pressure to keep the weight off, striving to look even better & not for 1 second did I stop to acknowledge how far i had actually come. It had become an obsession & an unhealthy one at that. I stopped doing the things I loved, I wasn’t laughing like I use to & if Im honest I wasn’t happy in life. I felt like id lost who I really was & the realisation of this was actually really upsetting.

So, I made the decision, enough was enough. I had to take back that control I mistakenly thought i had and put my wellbeing first. This meant putting myself outside of my comfort zone and challenging my inner workings. This was a huge challenge for me to really, truthfully let go of daily life, stress, routine, expectations and to just fully breath & be content with life.

This meant breaking the rules id set for myself, it meant having a sneaky piece of cake now & then, staying up late on a school night, giving myself the day off to do ABSOLUTELY nothing & most importantly to laugh again like I use to.

I even started yoga to help me trigger my inner Zen (& for all of you that now me well I don’t do relaxed & calm) I’m the one you hear loudly in the gym at 6 in the morning, Im your typical type A personality always go-go-go & always have to be busy to feel productive…BUT if I’m honest, this was the best thing i could of done for myself, I leave each session feeling calm & at peace (as hippy as it sounds) But it works for me.

This whole journey of self-awareness has taught me to be mindful, to be aware & listen to my body. To rest if thats what i need & no not rest as in I just cant be bothered today! Its taught me to be kind to myself & to give myself the permission to be. No amount of sprints, calorie restricted diets or sweating my butt off at the gym everyday was going to get me any further with my results when my overall health & wellbeing isnt being taken care of, if anything it was actually setting me back a week or more with my progress. The truth is you could be OR have the best Trainer in the world but if your body is operating in a constant state of stress your results will be limited if not at a stand still. If you have been training for months, years even & youre struggling to lose weight or your training has come to a halt, maybe its worth taking a step back and listening to your body. Take the time to take a deeper look to find what it really needs. The biggest thing ive learnt from my experience is to strive for progress not perfection. Dont full victim to the pressures of todays society, love yourself, enjoy the journey & take time to acknowledge each step of success no matter how small !

Learn to smile more & focus on being the best version of yourself not others perception of the perfect you.

Lifes all about balance and not losing yourself along the way. A healthy body starts from within & radiates out, you will only get so far if you focus on the outside.

 

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